"You Made Me Feel Seen": A Complement I'll Never Forget

I love to ask people "What is a complement you've received that you will never forget?"

It is one of those questions that reveal what people care about most and lets you in even if it is just for a few seconds.

I think it is finally time for me to answer that for myself.

I look like my mother so of course I've been told I am beautiful. I've been called strong, smart, kind, athletic, bubbly, and many more. But there is a specific conversation I had my senior year of college that made me think to myself "I've done what I was put here to do."

I spent two years of my rowing career as lifting rack partners with my best friend, Anna. We had a super efficient system, pushed one another well, and made working out a little more enjoyable for one another.

At the beginning of our senior year, a brand new freshman was in our lifting rotation and needed a rack. I invited her over to join us. She was so quiet and scared of us loud, quick, experienced, and probably intimidating seniors.

While in college, a rowing athlete's ability to lift heavy weight increases almost exponentially. You get strong. Like so strong. But you don't start that way. So as you can imagine, when a tiny freshman (who lifted much less than us) joined our systemically flawless set up, it took a lot of patience.

We spent the rest of the school year lifting together four times a week, sometimes more. While it tested my patience occasionally, I was able to be a sort of mentor for her and got to know her. It seemed that she didn't really connect with other upperclassmen on the team so I took it as my responsibility to be kind, friendly, and offer her encouragement when I could. I was there. I was a freshman terrified of my teammates, coaches, and a brand new sport once. I knew what she was going through.

On our last lift together before she went home for the summer and the racing team boarded a plane for the Big 12 Championship, she stopped me and said "I am going to miss you, Roenne. You made me feel so seen. No one has ever done that for me before. You made me feel like I am not alone."

I didn't know what to say to that so just I smiled at her and said "You're never alone and I am going to miss you too." Then the tears started streaming down my face in the middle of my final workout in that weight room. Sure some of the tears where from the finality of my time as a college athlete and all of that. But her saying that to me made every workout, sore muscle, early morning, long bus ride, injury, missed night out or party, good and bad performance on the water, Big 12 award, and all the other sacrifices I made for that sport worth it.

In that moment I knew why God had put me on this path and kept me on it when I considered quitting so many times. I understood why he gave me the ability to row, work hard, outlast, be patient, and the perspective I had.

People remember how you make them feel. I made her feel seen and not alone. Isn't that what we all really want? This was the best complement I've received and to this day, the most proud I have ever been of myself.

You never know what others have going on or have gone through. So be kind, take stock in other people, notice them, support them. It is never a waste of time or energy.

All my love,

Neva