The Type of Friendship We All Deserve

Five years ago this week, I met my best friend.

We were on a vacation with a mutual friend at the time. We'd sort of known one another before but as we say it, "we kind of fell in love" on that trip. It wasn't dramatic but there was something about one another that drew us in. A few months later, Lyndsey moved into the college house I was living in and we've been inseparable since. Being friends with her felt like a no-brainer. Her heart, integrity, humor, and how much she loves life mirrors mine so well.

The beach vacation we truly met on.

In high school, we played on rival basketball teams. We played one another durning the regualr season and even in summer league. So we knew who the other one was, but not in a good way ha! So when we actually clicked later on, it was unexpected.

We lived together for two years, in the same town for three. Now we live two hours apart, which is honestly rude of life, but we've made it work. We still take vacations together. We still know exactly how the other is feeling and what she needs to hear. Some friendships are built on convenience. Ours survived the end of college, moving away, new jobs, and different cities. If anything, those things just proved what we already knew.

I've thought a lot lately about what makes our friendship so special, and I think I've finally figured it out.

She is one of the very few people in this world around whom I don't have to be anything except myself.

I don't have to be strong. I don't have to have the answers. I don't always have to be funny or upbeat or put together. I don't have to pretend I'm handling everything well when I'm not. I can cry over something small without feeling embarrassed. I can overthink something ridiculous and know she'll gently talk me back to reality. I can sit in complete silence. I can laugh until I can't breathe. Every version of me is welcome.

That is a rare kind of gift.

As I've gotten older, I've realized how exhausting it can be to constantly feel like you have to hold yourself together. Whether it's at work, with family, or just trying to be a functioning adult, there are days when it feels like everyone needs something from you. There is something deeply comforting about having one person where you can set all of that down for a while.

Friendship like that refreshes your soul.

I think that's why the Bible says, "A sweet friendship refreshes the soul" (Proverbs 27:9). It isn't just talking about having someone to grab coffee with. It's talking about the kind of person who reminds you who you are when life gets loud. The kind of person who makes you feel lighter simply because she is sitting across the table from you.

We've carried each other through more than I ever expected we would in five short years. Career changes. Moving. Heartbreak. Big dreams. Tiny victories. Long talks on the couch. Last-minute road trips. The ordinary Tuesdays that somehow became some of my favorite memories.

Looking back, I don't think either of us ever set out to save the other. We just kept showing up. And isn't that usually how people save us?

Not with one grand gesture, but with hundreds of ordinary ones. A phone call. A late-night drive. A "Come over." A laugh when you desperately needed one. A reminder that you're loved on a day you forgot.

She has done that for me more times than I can count.

The funny thing is, I genuinely think I get to hang out with everyone's dream girl whenever I want.

She is wildly creative. She works incredibly hard. She notices people in a way that makes them feel seen. She celebrates everyone around her. She loves deeply. She is thoughtful without making a show of it, kind without expecting anything in return, and driven without making anyone else feel like they aren't enough.

And somehow... I just get to call her my best friend. How lucky am I?

People spend so much time talking about finding the right husband or wife, and those relationships absolutely deserve to be celebrated. But I don't think we talk nearly enough about friendships like this. The kind that quietly shape you into a better person. The kind that remind you to laugh at yourself. The kind that hold your hand through seasons you never expected to walk through. The kind that make you believe the world is still full of really, really good people.

I know, without a doubt, that I would not be the woman I am today without her friendship.

Not because she fixed me. She simply loved me so consistently that I slowly became more myself.

Five years isn't all that long, but it has been long enough for me to know that no matter where life takes us, no matter what cities we end up in or what our lives look like twenty years from now, I'll always have this woman in my corner. And I hope she knows she'll always have me in hers.

If five years of knowing Lyndsey has taught me anything, it's this: I hope I make people feel the way she has always made me feel—safe, celebrated, and completely at home. If I can do that for even a handful of people in my lifetime, I'll consider it a life well lived.

Happy five years to the friend who taught me that the safest place in the world isn't always a place at all.

Sometimes it's a person.

All my love,

Neva