You look too much at your shortcomings and too little at Jesus.

Neva Roenne
Jul 7
4 min read

Updated: Jul 29

The Weight of Falling Short

I catch myself doing it all the time — holding a microscope to my flaws, my failures, my “not enoughs.” I’ll sit there scrolling my phone and I spiral into comparing myself. All the ways I fall short. All the ways I don’t measure up to the version of me I think I should be by now. It’s wild how quickly I can spiral into self-criticism, even on the days when I’m trying my best.

I mess up. I ruin good things sometimes. I lash out to people who aren't the problem. I leave the dishes in the sink for too long. I fall off my exercise routine. I hit snooze on my alarm too many times. I forget to call my friends and ask them how life is. I forget that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I've come to know that all too familiar voice saying: "you're behind," "why are you still struggling with this," "you don't do enough," "you're not disciplined enough," "you aren't skinny enough," "you aren't fit enough," "your skin isn't clear enough," "there is always something wrong with you."

It is so draining. But, that is satan talking. And he will never have the last word. Love has that.

The Shift: Looking Up

A couple of weeks ago, my mind was constantly in the state of hatred. My mind was being mean to me. Somewhere in the middle of all that self-doubt, I felt a quiet nudge: Look at Me instead. Not at your record, your effort, your performance — just at Me.

Then, it shifted. The more I stare at everything I’m not, the less room I leave for the One who already is.

I think we forget that Jesus never asked us to be perfect — He just asked us to follow Him. And following means looking at Him, not at the mess we're dragging behind us.

But that's not new. I think that has been happening to everyone for as long as humans have been around.

Our shortcomings don't scare God. They don't push Him away. They don't make Him love you less. They create opportunity for us to get to know the Lord and His mercy in new and deeper ways.

He's Got You

I think sometimes we imagine Jesus shaking His head at us. Like He’s just waiting for us to finally get it together. But that’s not who He is.

Culture and the world make it easy to feel like we are always behind. Behind in our education, our fitness, our relationships, our jobs, our finances, etc. We then feel like we have to hustle and cannot truly rest until we "catch up." But here's a secret: that is the whole point -- we will never catch up to what the world wants us to be. But, that is probably a good thing.

I went through a detrimental breakup (am I still go through it? yah, probably). It hurt(s) so badly for many reasons but something that really messed me up was that I had planned my entire future around this guy. After 2 years of dating and talking about the future, I thought it would last. He said he simply fell out of love with me. Time for me to spiral.

For weeks I sat there crying and trying to figure out what was so wrong with me that let him fall out of love with me. Did my shiny wear off? Did I ask too much? Am I not pretty enough anymore?

I decided I hated feeling that way. So I looked up. Jesus told me that He will never stop loving me. Love doesn't have an expiration date. Real love endures all things. There was nothing wrong with me. I tried my hardest, he just wasn't ready to look into the mirror I was for his heart and try to be the man I needed him to be. That has nothing to do with me not being good enough.

I asked Jesus months before the breakup to reveal to me if this person was right for me and to show me in an obvious way, because I'm pretty hard headed and need things to be put plainly sometimes. What a good Father we have, He let me know that I am made for someone who deserves me, not just wants me.

I felt like I couldn't do the whole relationship or love thing correctly, but that isn't true. That was the all-too-familiar voice I was talking about. I was focused on my shortcomings. I was focused on all the ways I wasn’t enough. And Jesus? He was just waiting for me to turn my eyes toward Him.

Sure, I still have those thoughts that creep in here and there, but I know a really good way to get rid of them now.

Come As You Are

There are a lot tougher things in this life than a hard breakup, I know. But I hope that can help paint a picture of what I mean when I say that we often focus too much on our shortcomings or the ways we feel we failed, and not enough at Jesus.

Maybe you’re not doing everything perfectly. But Jesus never asked for perfect. He asked for your heart. While the world tells you that you aren't worthy until you have it all together, Christ tells us that we have already been fearfully and wonderfully made. What cause for hope and joy!