Jesus Didn't Die For Us To "Be Nice": The Uncomfortable Call of Christ

I was scrolling the other day and saw a post that said something along the lines of, "Just be nice, that’s what Jesus says." And I found myself saying out loud: No, that is not what Jesus asked of us. He didn’t call us to be polite. He called us to forgive, to spread His Word unapologetically, to sacrifice, to tell the truth, and to be radicals in a world of people pleasing and indifference.

It sounds good, doesn’t it? Be kind. Be nice. Keep the peace. But the Gospel was never about being agreeable. Jesus unsettled people. He asked His followers to wash dirty feet, to forgive endlessly, to give until it hurt. That’s not "nice," that’s radical love.

People love to sum up Jesus’ message with “be kind to each other.” And while kindness is a virtue, let’s be honest: that’s a serious downgrade. Jesus didn’t come here, live among us, suffer, and die so the takeaway could be: “be nice.”

“Nice” is surface-level. It’s safe. It’s the word we use when we don’t want to offend, when we want to smooth things over. But “nice” doesn’t heal. “Nice” doesn’t forgive seventy times seven. “Nice” doesn’t turn the other cheek or carry a cross.

Jesus wasn’t nice. He is love. And not just love in a vague, poetic sense, but a radical, embodied, inconvenient, sacrificial love.

What Radical Love Looks Like

When we talk about radical love, it is easy to imagine it as something abstract or poetic. But in reality, it is gritty, inconvenient, and often uncomfortable. It looks like forgiving the person who hurt you, even when you’d rather walk away. It looks like making time for the neighbor who always needs something, even when your own schedule is packed. It looks like telling the truth to someone you love, not because it is easy, but because you care too much to let them stay in the dark.

Radical love means choosing the harder road: giving when no one gives back, showing up when no one notices, serving when no one applauds. It is less about feeling warm affection and more about action. Jesus didn’t invite us to a life of “niceness,” where no one is offended and everything stays comfortable. He invited us into a love that stretches us past what feels natural, until our lives begin to reflect His own sacrifice.

I often think back to the Last Supper when Jesus washed his disciples' feet. He knew he was going to be betrayed by Judas. He knew. Despite this, He treated him with love, just as He did the other 11. The man who betrayed Him, while knowing He would die, still received His love. We are called to be Christ-like. This is who Christ is. I don't know about you, but love like that is difficult. May we ask Him for the grace, courage, and patience to love like Him.

An example of this type of love is my dad. I could tell you so many reasons he loves me like Jesus does, but one in particular is at the forefront of my mind lately. I moved to Wichita with a guy and we lived together. I told my parents I was going to live with him because it made the most sense economically and I thought it was the next thing to do in our relationship. I knew they'd try to talk me out of it, so I didn't listen. I pulled the "I'm an adult and know what I am doing" card. As you know by now, that relationship only lasted a few weeks after we moved in together, like we didn't even have couches yet. Right after the breakup I drove three hours home and my dad didn't ask questions. He just loved his daughter. His heart broke for me. A week later, I called him and asked him to bring his truck the three hours down the Turnpike to move me out of that house. He gave up his Saturday without hesitating. He had to watch me go through all the emotions that day. He had to sit in the truck with me crying and in pain. He never said "I tried to tell you" or "I told you so." Although I ignored him initially, his love was stronger than that. He has never even brought up who this guy was, why he wasn't right for me, or what I should've done. While I am sure he has thought all of that, all he has shown me is love and patience. He has shown me the meaning of sacrifice and selfless love. Through my dad, I have learned how the Lord's love should work through us and for one another.

The Call

This is the part that gives me pause: Jesus didn't simply demonstrate radical love for us to admire from a distance. He called us to embody it. To truly engage in the complexities of human relationships and opt for love when being "nice" or acting "just to maintain peace" would have been simpler.

It’s not theoretical. It’s not for saints on holy cards. It’s for you and me, right here and now. It’s for how we forgive the sibling who hurt us, how we care for the friend who is struggling, how we show up for the person who drains us, how we keep loving even when it costs us comfort, reputation, or pride.

It is our job to make Heaven crowded. The only way we can do that is if we fiercely love our neighbors and spread the truth of the Gospel. This can make people uncomfortable. But there is no greater love than sharing Christ, His Word, and His Church with one another.

The call is not to settle for “be nice.” The call is to love radically. To serve, to forgive, to sacrifice, to tell the truth even when it is hard, and to do all of it with a heart that looks more and more like Christ’s.

And if that feels impossible, that’s because it is without Him. Radical love doesn’t come from trying harder or being better. It comes from asking for grace, daily. From leaning into His strength when ours runs out.

Remember that we love because He first loved us.

Jesus did not die so we could play it safe. He died so we could be free to love like Him. That is the invitation, and it is also the challenge. Will we choose “nice”? Or will we choose love?

All my love,

Neva