All My Love: A Beginning

I've never experienced anything like I did when I went to an outdoor Noah Kahan concert with my sister-in law. When I tell you it was almost an out of body experience, I am being serious. My heart physically felt like it was swelling. I don't know if it was the Kansas humidity, a connection with the lyrics, his other worldly vocals, or the jumbo raspberry Quirk I was sipping on, by I've never felt like that before.

I connected especially with his song "All My Love." It is all about wanting the best for people who have been in your life, for worse or for better, for a short while or forever. I really liked that the first time I heard it. Life is too short to not give our love out. Afterall, the love you put out there always comes back to you.

As time went on, I adopted those few words into my vernacular by signing every love letter, thinking of you text, thank you note, and birthday card with the words "all my love, Neva." Since then, it has become my signature in life. Thus, the name of my blog came about.

Please understand that I’m not here because I have all the answers. I’m here because I believe we should all share what we are thinking and that there’s something sacred in paying attention — to God, to people, to the ordinary

This is officially my first blog post. Cheers!!

Following is an introduction to the three themes or buckets I will be working in: In His Light, The In-Between, and Where I Come From.

In His Light

The first thing anyone would know about me, or at least I hope, is that I love the Lord. I love His Son, the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Catholic Church. The truth, the beauty, the reverence, the peace, joy, and love within the faith and Jesus is irreplaceable.

When I am having a rough day, overthinking things, or when my mind is being mean to me, Christ is my refuge. He loves me unconditionally with mercy. He has a plan for my life, and although I haven't figured it out yet, I try my best to listen.

While it is so easy to simply seek more understanding in a chaotic and broken world, perhaps we just need to seek more Jesus.

But God isn't a last resort, He is also responsible for the good things in my life. Gosh, I am so blessed. Blessed beyond reason. For that reason, I praise him. I will praise him in these words I post. Psalms 22:3 says "Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel." I love this because if we praise him, he is present. Now and forever.

If you aren't Catholic, you are more than welcome here, please come and learn with me.

I am no theologian or perfect by any means. But I can pursue sainthood in my life. That's what I aim to do. This is where I write about my faith. The parts I understand, the parts I wrestle with, and the small ways I try to live it out.

The In-Between

I'm in my early 20's, post-college graduation, an ex D1 athlete, new to a new place, and my mind is constantly turning. That all feels uncertain, exciting, daunting, crazy, and even a little risky. This section will hold my personal reflections, current thoughts, questions I am sitting with, and lessons learned.

The in-between is strange. You’re not exactly who you used to be, but you’re not fully sure who you’re becoming either. It’s full of messing up, trying to figure it out, asking dad what kind of oil my car needs, and tiny wins that no one claps for — like showing up, trying again, or learning to be okay with quiet.

The in-between can feel like waiting, wandering, or wondering. But I think we can continue to grow in the middle of things too.

Where I Come From

I could break into tears thinking about home. Sometimes I do. It is beautiful. The green grass in the summer, the buzzing of bees, the animals, the culture, the people, the sunsets, the sunrises, the lake, the creeks, the gentle hills. I don't think it is anything super extreme like a beach-front home or a cabin in the Rockies. But it sure is something special to me.

I heard a quote that said "Anyone can love the beach or the mountains, but it takes a soul to love the prairie." I think that is because it has a soul of its own. It can tell stories through the centuries. If I sit still enough, I can hear the wind whispering them to me.

I grew up outside of a town of about 700 people. While knowing everyone at church and where I waitressed at the BBQ restaurant was wonderful, sometimes the kids at school managed to know things about me before I even did. That's just how it is somewhere like that.

I did all of the sports and took all the classes. My 18 years there were so full of joy! Heartbreak and lessons too. But those seem to fade away nowadays when I remember it. I like that.

Growing up on the ranch taught me how to be strong (in more ways than one), the circle of life, how to care for the land and animals, discipline, responsibility, teamwork, the importance of community, how to love my country, and to always wear jeans when you're throwing hay — no matter how hot that July day is. In this way, I found that agriculture is something so important not just to me, but to everyone, whether they know it or not.

Even in a new city, with a new job and new routines, I still carry the slow strength of home with me. This is where I’ll write about it. It may be memories, my commentary on news, or other things.

A Note to You

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Truly. Whether you stumbled here on accident or followed a link from someone who loves me, I’m glad you’re here.

This little corner of the internet isn’t polished or perfect, but neither am I. And that’s kind of the point. My hope is that these words make you feel something — seen, comforted, encouraged, maybe even inspired. I hope they remind you that you're not alone, to see the world as a glass half full, and that there's beauty in the small, sacred, quiet things. As I share my heart and life in this space, please pray for me, I will be praying for you.

So whether you’re a stranger, a friend, or somewhere in between, welcome. I’m honored to share this space with you. I’ll be here, writing with my whole heart and...

All My Love,

Neva