Sorry, But My Sister Is My Soulmate: An Apology To My Future Husband

She is my entire heart. I would not be me if there was never her. I am older, but only by a year and a half. So, I don't really know life without her. I know her like my own mind. Our hearts are so violently intertwined that even if I wanted to, I could never escape it. Any moment with her I can't help but think "what a time to be alive!"

I wouldn't dare say we are the same person, at all. She is the fiery, passionate, intelligent, quick-witted, and independent one. I am the more laid-back, quiet, gentle, and methodical one. We complement each other's strengths and weaknesses in a way that being soulmates is the only explanation.

I know true love, true devotion, true friendship, and true selflessness exists because I have her.

As I mentioned, I am the older sister. But my entire life has been lived in awe and looking up to Mellany. She is one of those people who is just good at everything she does. She is good at athletics, at school, at being creative, at being curious. She's even good at shot gunning a beer (sorry Mell lol). She is good at standing up for herself, she is good at friendships, she is good at making boring things fun. The only thing I am good at when compared to her is waking up early.

I live in constant awe of my sister. If you know me, you love her. The first thing people learn about me is that she exists.

She just makes me a better, more fun, more present, more care-free version of myself. Our relationship reminds me that there are only a few things in this life that REALLY matter and our relationships are at the top of that list: our relationship with God, with one another, and with ourselves.

There is no one who knows me more than she does. We don't even have to finish each other's sentences. We speak in glances and in giggles.

The best part of being a sister? She doesn't expect or require me to be perfect or even to be good all the time. She lets me be messy and weird and inconvenient all the time. I don't know if there is anyone else I can say that about.

There are parts of this life that suck. And they just suck. I can't change that. But with her, I am not alone in it. I won't ever be alone.

To the outside world, we will grow old. But not to one another. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.

Mellany leaves for her graduate program 498 miles away from me come August. It is a day I am dreading.

She is the best part of me. She is my best friend and always has been. I am so proud to know her and to get to love her. We will both be married one day. We won't share last names or zip codes or maybe even time zones. We will have separate families. We may have lives that rarely cross any longer. But as I said, we are intertwined so tightly. We may find other loves of our lives, but she will always be my soulmate. Luckily for me, God knew I needed to have mine for my entire life.

All my love,

Neva